Great Horned Owl

I chose a more literal piece of artwork and I see it as a good fit given the video project for this week. The Lyman center is one of the great parts about southern that gives many opportunities for students to see shows and performances and that where I found this. The sculpture is called "Great Horned Owl" and I've never seen a horned owl before so why not? I assume from the plaque that Fred Apuzzo is the artist and it was donated in 1986. I believe the point of this piece is to advocate for the integrity of the school. It exemplifies the spirit of Southern Connecticut and what people get out of being here. It makes southern be seen as more than just a state school that hands out four year degrees like the stereotype suggests. I don't dislike the sculpture if you want my honest opinion. I wouldn't put it in my home but I wouldn't smash it on peoples driveways during Halloween either, I'm neutral on the subject. I think the plaque is more inspirational than anything. it uses the word enrichmnt and it makes me think of what I'm doing here. I'm trying to enritch myself and although I'm not sure is Fred Apuzo is the degigner or not, assuming he is, I think its pretty cool that he could come from a state school with such a talent. It is a very fine piece of art work and it must be pretty good for our school to choose to put it up in the center of the lyman building. Everyone goes there at some point so everyone sees that front and center. I cant judge art like that but from my nieve eye I see an acomplished piece of artwork worthy of its position

A Night on the Town

I didn't do anything fun on campus this week, unless you count eating all the marshmallows from the lucky charms at Conn, which I do. Besides destroying the cereal I went to a show that was absolutely the peek of my month. New haven is an amazing place for a girl like me. Music is my heart and soul quite literally and the reason I came to southern is for the amazing nightlife around the area. For instance there's a little club down the street called toads place, maybe you've heard of it. It entertains the masses with every genre of music having graced its puke stained steps. This past week a few of my friends and I went to see a band called '"The White Panda" which consists of two men I'm assuming of Chinese decent who wear masks and throw down the sickest beats over popular main stream songs you hear on the radio. They aren't very well known but my friends and I have been fans for years. It's a show worth your $30 ($20 with a southern I.D.). I believe the best feeling in the world is when you stand in front of a speaker and feel the vibrations throughout your body, even better when you know every word of every song. I was apprehensive about going considering I had a midterm the next day but I'm so glad I went. I see all my friends ripping their hair out over these exams for one reason or another and it's just depressing. Getting away for the night was more than refreshing for all of us. It's easy to get stuck here and become anxious and depressed over all the new pressures college presents so getting out and exploring new having is something I recommend for everyone. It's not this big bad city that everyone makes it out to be. the occasional homeless person looking for change and car drivers who don't yet understand the function of red lights is about as bad as it gets as long as you're not trooping around the slums alone. A bus pass and some bravery is all you need and the town is your oyster.

A Turning Point

Looking back on the previous half of this term I don't really see anything to be proud of. I see my grades on all the papers tests and quizzes I've done and all I see is average. There's nothing wrong with average its just so ordinary. I spent a lot of high school being average and I got bored so I decided to step it up and become really good at something, I chose music. I was in all the plays I was president of choir and my select ensemble, the whole nine yards. I traveled all over the country we went to Disney World twice, I really excelled. In order to continue I had to keep my grades up, I believe it was a 3.0 or better, so I did. I worked really hard and it felt good accomplishing something and being rewarded. Anyways, this term I haven't been doing so hot and I feel like the sudden lack of music in my life is the reason. I have no drive. I have no reason to take agency because I'm not being rewarded so I don't see the point of working hard. For some the satisfaction of seeing a good grade is enough but not for me, that just doesn't get me going like it should. Of course i want my parents to be proud but they love me so much I couldn't disappoint them if I tried. I feel disappointed in myself because I didn't study as much as I should, or at all for that matter. I'm glad I can look back and feel this way though, because it gives me the opportunity to turn it around. This half of the term will be better, it has to be. I have no choice at this point but to find a different creative outlet and get things done. I've started to utilize the library, you wouldn't believe what some peace and quiet does for my homework. I'm also thinking of getting a tutor. I need to step up my game without a doubt and with a new half of the term beginning this is the perfect opportunity to turn everything around and change for the better.

Don't rationalize, just feel.

I read the chapter on relationships because I'm a dysfunctional teen who grew up on Cinderella and the ideals that revolve around 2.3 kids, a white picket fence, and a golden retriever. This entire book is about how to change or sustain a good functioning life. The chapter on relationships was interesting because I think, above all else, love is all that matters in the world we live in. A long time ago relationships didn't matter as much as they do now. people married people and had children end of story. Now a days people get married and divorced like its nothing. Seeing that makes me believe in love as a more fragile thing than it ever was. It can be created and destroyed over and over again according to our social norms so I've always been confused as to who what when where and how I'll find my one and only, or if I'll find a few of those. Basically, I'm confused to the point that the intro of this blog might now even make sense to most. The bottom line is I could use a little help in the relationship department so that chapter was most appealing right off the bat. It talked about how fixed mindset people want revenge and expect magic while growth mindset people move on. Identifying as a fixed mindset person I believe this is true, I do hold grudges more often than I'd like. As for the magic part I don't see that as a negative characteristic. I think magic gives people hope and hope keeps some of us moving forward. Fixed mindsets are seen as a negative thing but believing in magic isn't bad it isn't wrong, maybe taken to an extreme but believing that someday my life will be like a Taylor Swift song is lovely in my opinion. You might say I'm blissfully ignorant but I like to think of it as optimistic, I know I wont graduate college by a miracle, I know magic wont give me a great job I love, but tell me why exactly I cant walk into a room and see my soul mate and just know deep down inside that they're the one. That doesn't sound so ridiculous to me, in fact that sounds beautiful and why can't love be beautiful magic? If only the book addressed that.

Terror? Oh yes, that sounds fun!

In case you couldn't tell my title is 100% sarcastic. Being scared does not sound like a good time to me. Why on earth would I want to put myself on the verge of tears? I simply don't understand the reasoning behind that. This weekend I was asked if I wanted to go to the trail of terror with my best friends and remembering my assignment to step outside of my comfort zone I agreed. I admit I was a little apprehensive considering my past experiences. I went three years ago and chickened out. I waited 5 hours got to the entrance and left. What a waste of time. Then I decided to be daring and try again the next year and I actually went in! okay so I might have cried a little, or a lot. But i learned a lesson, never EVER do that again. Never the less I decided to be brave, suck it up, and go. I went with my best friends and they all just had to bring up the day I chickened out. That was helpful. We walked up to the line and the terror ensued. People dressed up as dead little girls, midget devils that get in your face, zombie farmers that hang from trees, they went to extremes this year to insure people got what they paid for. The line wasn't so bad this year we only waited two hours and I'm not going to lie, I was mildly excited until the unthinkable happened. I was just standing there minding my own business when out of nowhere comes a bloody clown right up in my face. If you know me you know clowns are the end all be all of fears for me. I don't have a reason behind it, no repressed memories they just scare the living daylights out of me. I don't think I've ever screamed so loud in my life. After the little incident in line I was really thinking about turning back, but I didn't. I marched right into that tiny room and endured the entire trail. Honestly, I'm proud of myself, it may seem like a small feat of bravery but for me it was something I could really be proud of. I'm glad I did this, I actually proved something to myself about what I get out of the effort I put in.

New isn't always bad

I come from a town where football and cross town rivalries are a huge deal. School spirit is never in short supply as virtually my entire grade was apart of a group called 'the green machine'. Coming to southern I knew things were going to be different in that area. After attending my first football game I saw some blatant differences that somewhat bothered me. For one attendance even at a home game was a bit on the slim side. Cheerleaders were peppy as ever but that's not who I went to see. My high school band was huge maybe even as notorious as the football team and southern doesn't even have a band. Our drum line was interesting and the football team for its first win so I did enjoy myself. Although, I do miss the spark of electricity in the air as we crush yet another team. I'm getting accustomed to southern life and while the game wasn't what I'm used to I'm glad I attended to see our team take our first well deserved victory.

Reality check

The conversations in inquiry has resonated with me for the past few days. We're talking about our mindsets and it's made me take a step back and analyze my own life and how my mindset has changed since coming to college. During the in-class discussion I found myself to be a fixed minded person. I don't take initiative to move forward or better myself which is not a good trait in a college student, I admit. It was fine in high school to be good at something and make minimal improvement but here I am constantly expected to be better than I was the day before, a task i have found to be troublesome. I do want to better myself but there is one thing that keeps me from excelling, my lack of drive. I have no motivation at all to do well in classes I find trivial and under educating. for example my philosophy class is something I choose not to attend. I do the work and I will pass but attending class for an hour and fifteen minutes is almost unbearable. Perhaps attending class would better my mind but I simply don't care to retain what that class has to offer me. I have zero motivation to excel in philosophy so I choose to be average where it's easy and I'm comfortable. The opposite seems to be true for my inquiry class. I truly enjoy class time spent discussing the readings or previous class material but when it comes to extra work done outside of class i feel under stimulated therefore I lose interest and take no agency to do well. after reading about how I can be grouped into the fixed mindset category it really makes the reality of my laziness hit hard. All in all I can see this book as being one of the most important things I've ever read.