Looking back on the previous half of this term I don't really see anything to be proud of. I see my grades on all the papers tests and quizzes I've done and all I see is average. There's nothing wrong with average its just so ordinary. I spent a lot of high school being average and I got bored so I decided to step it up and become really good at something, I chose music. I was in all the plays I was president of choir and my select ensemble, the whole nine yards. I traveled all over the country we went to Disney World twice, I really excelled. In order to continue I had to keep my grades up, I believe it was a 3.0 or better, so I did. I worked really hard and it felt good accomplishing something and being rewarded. Anyways, this term I haven't been doing so hot and I feel like the sudden lack of music in my life is the reason. I have no drive. I have no reason to take agency because I'm not being rewarded so I don't see the point of working hard. For some the satisfaction of seeing a good grade is enough but not for me, that just doesn't get me going like it should. Of course i want my parents to be proud but they love me so much I couldn't disappoint them if I tried. I feel disappointed in myself because I didn't study as much as I should, or at all for that matter. I'm glad I can look back and feel this way though, because it gives me the opportunity to turn it around. This half of the term will be better, it has to be. I have no choice at this point but to find a different creative outlet and get things done. I've started to utilize the library, you wouldn't believe what some peace and quiet does for my homework. I'm also thinking of getting a tutor. I need to step up my game without a doubt and with a new half of the term beginning this is the perfect opportunity to turn everything around and change for the better.
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